My Rock ‘n Roll Seattle Marathon tweets, written in advance

Here is what I could be tweeting on Saturday while I walk (and maybe jog a bit of) the Rock ‘n Roll Seattle Marathon:

Getting up at 3 a.m. to go walk 26 miles in a drizzle. What fun. Chances are good I may be sleep-walking. Who’s idea was it for me to do this?

Yes, it was mine. Stupid me.

At the bus stop: Am I in the bus line or the bathroom line? Oh well, might as well use the Honey Bucket. How come everybody is so full of energy and I’m not?

On the shuttle: Oh, that feels good to cross the finish line to the roar of the crowd cheering me on, on their feet clapping, shouting my name.

Man, did I just fall asleep on the shuttle? Better wake up.

At the starting line: Wow, I’m in Wave No. 455. Looks like a lot of people here in their 80s and 90s. Wonder if we’ll get to the starting line before noon.

At the starting line: Finally. It’s wet out here. Should I drink a 5-Hour Energy or a 6-Hour Energy? Wait, is there an 8-Hour Energy drink anywhere?

The start: Oh, pain! My ankle stiffened at the starting line. Great start … Wish I could run to keep up with her

Mile 1: Well that only took a half-hour to get here. Could be a long day. At least the rain has stopped.

Mile 2: That looks like the bush where I stopped and peed last year when I ran the marathon. Well, at least it wasn’t into a reservoir.

Mile 3: I just jogged a bit. Pain break!

Mile 4: I wonder if I could borrow that kid’s skateboard for a few miles …

Mile 5: Only 21 miles to go! But this mile has a steep downhill to Seward Park. Trouble for my ankle. May have to walk down it diagonally …

Mile 6: Made it through the downhill. Ah, level ground. Wish I could get a hot dog at the next aid station.

Mile 7: I wonder if I could borrow that kid’s scooter for a few miles …

Mile 8: Oh, how I’d love to have a Segway right now. Wonder how fast I could do a marathon in a Segway?

Mile 9: Should I stop and listen to this Tom Petty tribute band? Probably not if I want to finish before dark.

Mile 10: I can see CenturyLink (Clink) Field. Nice! I’m at a 10-hour marathon pace. The only person behind me has a cardboard sign. Wait, that’s a panhandler.

Mile 11: Man, I’m hungry. Is there a restaurant around here? I could use some lunch. Oh, forgot. Don’t have my wallet with me.

Mile 12: Coming onto the Alaskan Way Viaduct. Hope there’s no earthquake. Where did all the volunteers go? Hey, I need some Gatorade.

Mile 13: At the halfway point. Maybe I’ll finish in 12 hours? Is that marathoner on crutches very far ahead of me?

Mile 14: Are they taking down all the aid stations now?

Mile 18: Tired of this hill. Almost to the Aurora Bridge. Maybe I should jump off. That would ease my ankle pain.

Mile 19: On the Aurora Bridge. I’d have to climb that fence to jump off. Not sure I could scale it.

Mile 20: I am truly hitting the wall. Pain break!

Mile 22: Oh no, they’re taking down the mile markers already?

Mile 23: I think this is Mile 23. Cars are coming at me fast though, so I better hug the right shoulder better. Must have been several hours since the last runners were here.

Mile 24: I know you turn around down here somewhere. I hope I can find the turnaround. I really don’t want to walk to Burien.

Mile 25: Oh, I hope this is the right away. It’s dark out now.

Mile 26: Heading to the finish line. Wait … They took the finish line down?! What time is it? Who is going to give me my medal? Where did everybody go?

Mile 26.2: OK, this looks like it could have been the finish line … Yes, it took me 20 hours to do this race. At least I finished!!!!! What’d you expect?

Walking slowly to my car now.

In the CenturyLink parking garage: What! It looks like my car’s been towed. I’ve gotta walk home. Will someone come and get me, please?


About monteenbysk

I am not an elite runner or bicyclist, though I am friends with many. I run, walk, and bike for fun and the health benefits. I can get you to the finish but probably not to the Boston Marathon (and especially not to the Tour de France).
This entry was posted in Marathons, Rock 'n Roll Seattle Marathon, Running, Walking and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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